You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Michael Bay diarrhea
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
