I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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