A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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