I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
