That's intense
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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