We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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