There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
