I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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