i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
