He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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