it wasn't lemon gatorade
now i know why i became what i already was.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
