I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
