I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
