Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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