cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
