420 ftw
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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