She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
