walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
