ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
