Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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