Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
