She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize