It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
