she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
