Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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