I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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