omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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