hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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