2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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