spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
