remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
