Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
