I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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