Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize