first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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