I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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