I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
