Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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