Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I am full of burrito and curiosity
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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