im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
