I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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