I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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