She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
