Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
