After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
