No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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