My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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