Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
