so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
