He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
