woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
