...so i touched it.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You pole danced in your parka.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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