It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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