wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
