OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
