woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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