i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
