I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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