Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize