too bad you live with your parents still
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
