i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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