Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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